Week 21 Sailing safely home

There is a quote I read at one point in my life, “so we women can sail safely home.”  It  was from an ancient Greek story.  I don’t remember the context, but I feel it in my bones.

I sail out on the open sea with my wooden sailboat, sturdy, sleek and streamlined in solitude.  Meditation, silence, me and the inner sea of my mind.  With each breath I calm the turbulent waves of mental activity that moves my mind.  The mind moves and restlessness arises.  Without judgment I experience an inner restlessness.  An emotion arises from underneath and carries the wind as if igniting emotions I want to bring back down into balance.  What is this inner movement of thought & emotion?  Let go. Let go.

Good meditation – bad meditation.  Cease judgment on this, please.  Perhaps your worst meditation is your best meditation.

Sailing safely home is a metaphor for learning to be embodied right here right now, balanced in my mind, heart and belly.  Sometimes life is that way, the restlessness covers an emotion that I have been running from for a very long time.  Meditation helps with slowing the process down. Breathing in breathing out. Count to 8.  Do it again.  Why is this so difficult right now?  If I keep breathing in 8 counts, after a series of three, a layer of tension releases.  Then another layer. Tears arise. I become aware of a sense of powerlessness.  I become aware of an incessant need to control, my environment, anything, my kitchen.  Can we ever control anything?  Another illusion.  I start to weep.  Didn’t know this was waiting to be released, without identifying with any thing that arises, because it will dissolve, I experience a greater sense of openness and a freedom.  Thoughts arise, then dissolves.  Emotions arise then dissolves.  Notice how they come and go?

I feel a pattern of tension release from my ribs, thoracic, I can breath easier.  This continues as I do a body scan of where I am holding in my body,  then I make a conscious choice to just let go.

I am sailing safely home to my inner harbor.

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2 Responses to Week 21 Sailing safely home

  1. Naomi – described so well that I was right there breathing, letting go, and sailing back to my safe harbor.

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