Diving once again into my depths, connecting to and unraveling the golden thread of what it is I truly desire, has brought me to a deeper understanding of what my HEART TRULY DESIRES and the emotions and resistances that keep it under wraps. I’ve hidden this from myself. To be honest I have felt a bit shaken up on how difficult it has been for me to write and edit my DMP. I realize that no body else can help me with me, I must be willing to look inside at any resistance and be willing and open to experiencing the emotions keeping me from connecting deeply with my heart, which is what will bring me to a clear understanding of my DMP.
I wrote from a prompt this morning- I am a writer: IF I TRULY LIVED IN ACCORDANCE WITH MY HEARTS DESIRE……. (fill in the blank)
I didn’t take my pen off the paper until I had written for ten minuets. The unexpected arose out of some deep well, reservoir inside of my heart, and I got honest with myself about what I have been running from my whole life. How can I know what I want, truly desire until I embrace – touch the resistance?
I have touched these places of feeling powerless, not allowing myself to trust the momentary anxiety that arises when I look at the situation/person/emotion. A deeper truth emerges, an intelligence that lives within my body, my depth, my heart and informs me on this journey of writing my DMP!
Today, my name is success and I deeply desire to know who I am. Today, I allowed myself to feel the underlying emotion with awareness, conscious awareness discovering my need for love, self acceptance, the willingness to be with myself, to be present with the uncomfortable emotions of sadness, self hatred and discovered the BELIEF that underlies it all, today, I can love myself. I can collapse the misperception that I have been carrying for a long time. Until I acknowledge these misperceptions, they seem overpowering and real. The truth is, they dissolve and I open and feel an expansion, breaking free of these limiting beliefs. I can connect with the depth within myself of wanting to know love, have love, be love, love because I have been present with the resistance. This brings me closer to being in alignment with my DMP.
Understanding the relationship between thought, feeling and belief is a key that unlocks the door to my dreams. It happened today. Today I am born anew.
I can change my life by understanding the belief that holds it all together: my need to control, etc.. This need to control keeps me from making decisions. What is below the need to control? Well, that is the journey, the mystery and soon and immediately that mysterious mind that never sleeps works MAGIC. I EXPERIENCE ALCHEMY and I choose to open the channel to my heart, allow for transformation. Everything else seems to click in. I am already revising my DMP.